If we could write each other's secrets onto pages,
and place those well-read journals back into each other's hands,
who would hold a thicker volume?
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Monday, August 19, 2013
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Us Humans
Something I'm learning a lot lately: It becomes impossible to make assumptions about someone (or judge them) when you've heard their stories and seen their pain.
This became incredibly relevant at Younglife camp, where during cabin time we would all share what was going on in our lives, and where we needed God to step in. Everyone opened up, and we all got to hear some heavy stories. Heck, I talked about things I swore I wouldn't bring to the table.
The whole time, I felt a mixed sense of amazing companionship with these girls while also being incredibly convicted. Half of these people I'd judged before! Or at the very least, I'd seen them in school and thought, wow, they just have it all together, don't they.
But no one does!
In fact, some of these girls had looked at me and thought the same things.
Me. As if anyone could think I have my ducks in a row.
I'm amazed at the fact that the more I get to know the things my friends aren't proud of, the more I respect them. I judge them less. It isn't the other way around! Because now I see them in a more relatable light. Once we realize that we're all in the same boat- that we all have broken places in us- it's impossible not to love them even more.
I find this especially mind-blowing when it's people that I look up to. You know the ones. The people we all aspire to be like. The ones that exude this aura of self-assurance, or in some cases, God-assurance. Nothing can phase them.
But then you see them in their low moments too, and it's like the universe just hiccuped or something.
Wait, they're human too?
Weirdly, it's not a loss-of-faith moment for me. It's relieving! And humbling. They've been there to see my screwups; the least I can do is be there to love them in theirs.
This became incredibly relevant at Younglife camp, where during cabin time we would all share what was going on in our lives, and where we needed God to step in. Everyone opened up, and we all got to hear some heavy stories. Heck, I talked about things I swore I wouldn't bring to the table.
The whole time, I felt a mixed sense of amazing companionship with these girls while also being incredibly convicted. Half of these people I'd judged before! Or at the very least, I'd seen them in school and thought, wow, they just have it all together, don't they.
But no one does!
In fact, some of these girls had looked at me and thought the same things.
Me. As if anyone could think I have my ducks in a row.
I'm amazed at the fact that the more I get to know the things my friends aren't proud of, the more I respect them. I judge them less. It isn't the other way around! Because now I see them in a more relatable light. Once we realize that we're all in the same boat- that we all have broken places in us- it's impossible not to love them even more.
I find this especially mind-blowing when it's people that I look up to. You know the ones. The people we all aspire to be like. The ones that exude this aura of self-assurance, or in some cases, God-assurance. Nothing can phase them.
But then you see them in their low moments too, and it's like the universe just hiccuped or something.
Wait, they're human too?
Weirdly, it's not a loss-of-faith moment for me. It's relieving! And humbling. They've been there to see my screwups; the least I can do is be there to love them in theirs.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
To Honesty, A Third Time
With some people, long stretches of silence can be awkward. Disconcerting. But it wasn't like that. I mean, at least not to me.
It was kinda nice to just sit there occasionally and not say anything.
I was so afraid that it would quickly turn into a solid hour or more of small talk. Hearing an actual voice can scare away the urge to be honest.
But it didn't!
In some ways, it was the deepest one yet. Look at us, expressing emotion.
And as always when I talk on the phone, I'm forever grateful that no one could see my face.
Because I made some pretty epic faces during those few hours. Terrified ones. Excited ones. Thoughtful ones. A few sly smiles.
As much as I would love a late-night jaunt to Waffle House any day, it too would be frightening at first.
Because as a voice is more daring than typed words, a face is more dangerous than a voice.
But every great thing starts out a little scary, doesn't it?
Can we do it again?
It was kinda nice to just sit there occasionally and not say anything.
I was so afraid that it would quickly turn into a solid hour or more of small talk. Hearing an actual voice can scare away the urge to be honest.
But it didn't!
In some ways, it was the deepest one yet. Look at us, expressing emotion.
And as always when I talk on the phone, I'm forever grateful that no one could see my face.
Because I made some pretty epic faces during those few hours. Terrified ones. Excited ones. Thoughtful ones. A few sly smiles.
As much as I would love a late-night jaunt to Waffle House any day, it too would be frightening at first.
Because as a voice is more daring than typed words, a face is more dangerous than a voice.
But every great thing starts out a little scary, doesn't it?
Can we do it again?
Sunday, August 11, 2013
The Most Cliche Post of the Month
So I was nominated for a Liebster Award.
For those that have never heard of it (myself included), I'm pretty sure it's this thing designed to introduce bloggers to other new bloggers. So I was tagged as a blogger with under 60 followers (duh) to do these questions about myself and then tag 10 other blogs as my nominees. Thing is, I don't even know of 10 bloggers. Sad I know.
So I'll just do the questions for fun.
Sue me.
1. What is your biggest ambition that you want to do/achieve in life.
I could say acting professionally, or publishing a novel, or even wingsuit jumping, but honestly, it's just to live the life God has planned for me. And find the perfect husband, to be honest.
2. If you could travel through time, would you travel forwards or backwards in time and why?
Probably backwards. I always wish that I could go back and change something stupid I said, or even just be with people that I took for granted before. So I'd relive some favorite memory, or befriend somebody, or something.
3. What one thing do you love most about planet earth and why?
Nature. I love watching the show Planet Earth (yeah, yeah) because it captures so nicely the wonder of creation. Earth in her natural habitat and all.
4. What is the happiest memory you can remember?
No clue. I was asked this fairly recently. I think I said the weeks before I left Okinawa, when I was with my friends, but I can't pick one. It's more the people I was with. Isn't it always?
5. What film do you think represents your life the best?
What kind of question is that? My life can't be contained in some stereotypical story. Hollywood makes movies based off of my life. It's way too complicated for a movie that's already been made.
6. If you could only eat one type of food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Fruit, because it's got variety, and is healthy but delicious. And juiceable. But my favorite food is pasta.
7. What is the funniest joke you know?
Puns in general. I geek SO hard.
8. Describe what your perfect date would be. Ugggghhhhhhhh fine.
Someone comes to my house in a button-down and says we're gonna hang out. He takes me to get some type of food. Maybe it's just ice cream. We sit someplace talking. Maybe we do something adventurous. We listen to awesome music in the car. He drops me off and kisses me on the cheek and isn't afraid to text me afterwards to ask when we can hang out again.
*dies of cliches*
9. What is the one thing you cannot live without and why?
Christian fellowship. If I go too long without people who encourage me to keep living for what's most important to me, life gets a lot more difficult. But when I have it, it's so life-giving.
10. If you had one wish, (and you can't wish for more wishes), what would you wish for?
The power of flight. Since I was 7, that's been it. I'd instantly have a way to escape, a way to see people, a way to have my own perfect secret.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, that was fun. And really hard. Thanks to Jordan, from the UK for nominating me. How did you find my blog, anyway?
For those that have never heard of it (myself included), I'm pretty sure it's this thing designed to introduce bloggers to other new bloggers. So I was tagged as a blogger with under 60 followers (duh) to do these questions about myself and then tag 10 other blogs as my nominees. Thing is, I don't even know of 10 bloggers. Sad I know.
So I'll just do the questions for fun.
Sue me.
1. What is your biggest ambition that you want to do/achieve in life.
I could say acting professionally, or publishing a novel, or even wingsuit jumping, but honestly, it's just to live the life God has planned for me. And find the perfect husband, to be honest.
2. If you could travel through time, would you travel forwards or backwards in time and why?
Probably backwards. I always wish that I could go back and change something stupid I said, or even just be with people that I took for granted before. So I'd relive some favorite memory, or befriend somebody, or something.
3. What one thing do you love most about planet earth and why?
Nature. I love watching the show Planet Earth (yeah, yeah) because it captures so nicely the wonder of creation. Earth in her natural habitat and all.
4. What is the happiest memory you can remember?
No clue. I was asked this fairly recently. I think I said the weeks before I left Okinawa, when I was with my friends, but I can't pick one. It's more the people I was with. Isn't it always?
5. What film do you think represents your life the best?
What kind of question is that? My life can't be contained in some stereotypical story. Hollywood makes movies based off of my life. It's way too complicated for a movie that's already been made.
6. If you could only eat one type of food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Fruit, because it's got variety, and is healthy but delicious. And juiceable. But my favorite food is pasta.
7. What is the funniest joke you know?
Puns in general. I geek SO hard.
8. Describe what your perfect date would be. Ugggghhhhhhhh fine.
Someone comes to my house in a button-down and says we're gonna hang out. He takes me to get some type of food. Maybe it's just ice cream. We sit someplace talking. Maybe we do something adventurous. We listen to awesome music in the car. He drops me off and kisses me on the cheek and isn't afraid to text me afterwards to ask when we can hang out again.
*dies of cliches*
9. What is the one thing you cannot live without and why?
Christian fellowship. If I go too long without people who encourage me to keep living for what's most important to me, life gets a lot more difficult. But when I have it, it's so life-giving.
10. If you had one wish, (and you can't wish for more wishes), what would you wish for?
The power of flight. Since I was 7, that's been it. I'd instantly have a way to escape, a way to see people, a way to have my own perfect secret.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, that was fun. And really hard. Thanks to Jordan, from the UK for nominating me. How did you find my blog, anyway?
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Musical Thank-Yous
Read it, guys, You may be mentioned in here.
Been meaning to do this post for a while, so heck.
My taste in music is relatively diverse, but not near where I want it. (In fact, I could REALLY use some new music right now.) But I am proud of a few things, such as:
-My 19 playlists, each for different moods/scenarios
-The artists I've found on my own and introduced people to
-Sleeping At Last is MY band. No one else has ever heard of them, and when someone has, I think I'll marry them. Not kidding.
-The absolute brilliance I've found through film soundtracks/scores
But to be honest, most of the best artists are always found through other people. So I need to thank the following people for bringing various music into my life.
Joie Darretta- my beautiful cousin, thank you for introducing me to Mat Kearney. Ships In The Night will forever be a jam, and loving Mat has helped me bond with so many others. Also, Sweet Disposition.
Kaleb Feltner- Changing by the Airborne Toxic Event. Also, the earlier Passion Pit.
Coree Stuart- WHERE TO BEGIN. Songs: Punching In A Dream, Take A Walk, 40 Day Dream, Whistle For The Choir, New Shoes, You and I, Hand Hold, Tongue Tied, You Always Make Me Smile, Worried Shoes (okay, your entire CD). Artists: Spoon, MGMT, I'm sure there's more.
Sarah Labanc- Your adventure music. New Earth by Zerbin, Bon Iver, Whirring by The Joy Formidable, He Is We, the songs on your tumblr, The Kooks... you are so musically diverse it kills me.
Cody DeVries- I'll Follow You Into The Dark. Enough said.
Bailey Lisk- That song called Bailey. Gah.
Common Ground- All of my current worship music.
The men of Common Ground- Downfall of Us All by A Day To Remember. *headbangs*
Alex Mutuc- The Avett Brothers, Iron and Wine. Okay, I only checked them out because you were into them, but boy am I a fan now.
Bethany West- The Vespers, Tender Love by Carl Cartee. Gah, the feels.
Phoenix Underwood- Gravity Rides Everything. Confession: I never got into any more Modest Mouse, but that song has stuck with me and helped the way it does for you. Also: Can You Tell by Ra Ra Riot and The Real of It by Said the Whale.
Ethan Duffy- Love Love Love by Avalanche City(oh my gosh it gets me). The Girl by City and Colour. Question by the Old 97's. Trapstep. Any song you showed me, I ended up loving. THE FEELS. And when you said you liked How He Loves...*shivers*
ABC's Castle- Pearl Jam, Jules Larson, Junior Senior, MoZella, so much more.
Winnie The Pooh, the movie- Somewhere Only We Know, and hence, Keane. Still my favorite ever.
Erik Olson- Mumford and Sons. I'd heard them, but hearing your performance of Where Are You Now got me really enthusiastic about their full albums.
Wendy Nguyen- Your use of Tim McMorris' songs in your videos got me into his (published) music. You're famous, so you'll never read this, but still.
Olivia Parvin- Owl City. I wouldn't be nearly as enthusiastic about him as I am now without your love of Adam Young. Also: The Hush Song, Helicopter by Branches (OH MY GOODNESS PERFECTION), half the songs on your blog.
Charissa Gerke- Your use of the song The King Beetle On The Coconut Estate by Mewithoutyou in your sermon was so, SO unique. It remains the most obscure yet meaningful song I have yet to hear, ever. (Hint: the fire in the song represents Christianity.)
Rachel Sumuray- Lindsey Stirling. Oh my gosh, now I'm obsessed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are so many more. And honestly, the majority of my music/artists are from movies. 500 Days of Summer, Warm Bodies, etc.
But if you are on here, thank you. For culturing my life a little more. Keep it up.
Been meaning to do this post for a while, so heck.
My taste in music is relatively diverse, but not near where I want it. (In fact, I could REALLY use some new music right now.) But I am proud of a few things, such as:
-My 19 playlists, each for different moods/scenarios
-The artists I've found on my own and introduced people to
-Sleeping At Last is MY band. No one else has ever heard of them, and when someone has, I think I'll marry them. Not kidding.
-The absolute brilliance I've found through film soundtracks/scores
But to be honest, most of the best artists are always found through other people. So I need to thank the following people for bringing various music into my life.
Joie Darretta- my beautiful cousin, thank you for introducing me to Mat Kearney. Ships In The Night will forever be a jam, and loving Mat has helped me bond with so many others. Also, Sweet Disposition.
Kaleb Feltner- Changing by the Airborne Toxic Event. Also, the earlier Passion Pit.
Coree Stuart- WHERE TO BEGIN. Songs: Punching In A Dream, Take A Walk, 40 Day Dream, Whistle For The Choir, New Shoes, You and I, Hand Hold, Tongue Tied, You Always Make Me Smile, Worried Shoes (okay, your entire CD). Artists: Spoon, MGMT, I'm sure there's more.
Sarah Labanc- Your adventure music. New Earth by Zerbin, Bon Iver, Whirring by The Joy Formidable, He Is We, the songs on your tumblr, The Kooks... you are so musically diverse it kills me.
Cody DeVries- I'll Follow You Into The Dark. Enough said.
Bailey Lisk- That song called Bailey. Gah.
Common Ground- All of my current worship music.
The men of Common Ground- Downfall of Us All by A Day To Remember. *headbangs*
Alex Mutuc- The Avett Brothers, Iron and Wine. Okay, I only checked them out because you were into them, but boy am I a fan now.
Bethany West- The Vespers, Tender Love by Carl Cartee. Gah, the feels.
Phoenix Underwood- Gravity Rides Everything. Confession: I never got into any more Modest Mouse, but that song has stuck with me and helped the way it does for you. Also: Can You Tell by Ra Ra Riot and The Real of It by Said the Whale.
Ethan Duffy- Love Love Love by Avalanche City(oh my gosh it gets me). The Girl by City and Colour. Question by the Old 97's. Trapstep. Any song you showed me, I ended up loving. THE FEELS. And when you said you liked How He Loves...*shivers*
ABC's Castle- Pearl Jam, Jules Larson, Junior Senior, MoZella, so much more.
Winnie The Pooh, the movie- Somewhere Only We Know, and hence, Keane. Still my favorite ever.
Erik Olson- Mumford and Sons. I'd heard them, but hearing your performance of Where Are You Now got me really enthusiastic about their full albums.
Wendy Nguyen- Your use of Tim McMorris' songs in your videos got me into his (published) music. You're famous, so you'll never read this, but still.
Olivia Parvin- Owl City. I wouldn't be nearly as enthusiastic about him as I am now without your love of Adam Young. Also: The Hush Song, Helicopter by Branches (OH MY GOODNESS PERFECTION), half the songs on your blog.
Charissa Gerke- Your use of the song The King Beetle On The Coconut Estate by Mewithoutyou in your sermon was so, SO unique. It remains the most obscure yet meaningful song I have yet to hear, ever. (Hint: the fire in the song represents Christianity.)
Rachel Sumuray- Lindsey Stirling. Oh my gosh, now I'm obsessed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are so many more. And honestly, the majority of my music/artists are from movies. 500 Days of Summer, Warm Bodies, etc.
But if you are on here, thank you. For culturing my life a little more. Keep it up.
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Perspective
I watched a documentary called "The Shadow of the Moon" about the Apollo 11 mission with my family, and to be honest, I teared up a couple times. I highly recommend it. It told the whole landing-a-man-on-the-moon story from the perspective of the astronauts, who are now in their eighties. So cool.
But it also reminded me how small Earth is. A couple of the astronauts had some really good quotes at the end about how seeing the earth from space made them more appreciative of how fortunate we are to live on it, and how suddenly, terrestrial problems don't seem as significant when you've had a (literally) cosmic view of them.
It reminded me of this picture. It's of Earth, taken from a satellite that was really far away.
But it also reminded me how small Earth is. A couple of the astronauts had some really good quotes at the end about how seeing the earth from space made them more appreciative of how fortunate we are to live on it, and how suddenly, terrestrial problems don't seem as significant when you've had a (literally) cosmic view of them.
It reminded me of this picture. It's of Earth, taken from a satellite that was really far away.
Look at that one more time and tell me again how the thing you're worrying about is so important.
That is all.
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