Dear Baseball Team,

I did not think I would miss you this terribly.

True, you are only gone for a week at Far East. But I will miss seeing you all every practice, every game. I'll miss the familiarity of your selves. Though there were days when I was tired after school and conflicts that prevented me from attending every game, I am so glad I was a manager for one tiny season, whether or not I am ever remembered. Each of you has brought me joy in one way or another. Here's why.

Richard: Even though you're not with the team anymore, I still feel like you are. You always pumped up everyone at games, and never forgot to streak warpaint on my face as well. To this day, when someone gets on base, we do your signature chant and I smile to myself. Your presence always boosted the general mood.

Sho: Never have I met anyone so dedicated. You stay two hours after every practice and arrive 3 hours early to every game. I am so impressed by how passionate you are about baseball, and frankly, it's rather inspiring to everyone. You are a huge leader in the team, and really are the mini Mr. Toor. You were always so sweet to me, and are one of the only people who has ever called something I did "cute". Chicks dig that, bro.

Jaren: Our viper handshake cracks me up. I loved how you always referred to every other player as "kid". It gave you a very older-brother-feel, and I enjoy how you counsel the less-experienced and help everyone grow. You are the funniest Blasian (black asian) I have ever met, hands down. And whenever we in the dugout yell for the infield to "talk it up", we're basically saying, "Hey Jaren, get them talking." You never fail to keep everyone energized.

RJ: You will always be prayed for, if I have anything to say about it. The amount of laughter you send me into is downright ridiculous. With your random bluntness and outgoing personality, you brighten everyone's day. And I think outfielders are pretty awesome. Just sayin'. Please stay your upbeat self, and never believe you don't have a chance at heaven.

Matt: When Chiyori and I compared everyone to animals, you were a beagle. You're the kid it's impossible not to like. The way you treat Jasmine is so adorable(such a gentleman!) and you're willing to do anything for your teammates, including taking anyone under your wing and helping them out. Your shy kindness is so refreshing, and the way you get so frustrated if you mess up in a game tells me how much you love playing.

Curtis: When you moved in next door to me, I thought you were shy. Not so. You can be the life of the party sometimes, and your antics make me laugh. I'll never forget an afternoon at the very start of the season when I was walking through my kitchen and saw you out the window hitting into your practice net outside. You suddenly stopped, threw off your shirt, replaced it with your Kubi shirt and hat, and continued hitting. Your pride in your team made me smile.

Akira: You are a quiet one, but it's a good kind of quiet. You have great bonds with certain members of the team, and I know they'll miss you at Far East. You're really dedicated to the team as well, and I always thought it was really nice of you to be so polite to your superfan(s). *wink*

Ryan: You are so adorable. I love pretending to embarrass you around your girlfriend, and you are actually very perceptive, picking up on girls' tricks. When you started dating Kylie, and didn't want to mess anything up, I though it was so sweet. I felt pretty honored that you could even tell me that. Stay your cool self, and don't forget to get some sleep. You're a good baseball player; you'll need it.

Alex: You are not the pipsqueak you once were, that's for sure. You have grown. A lot. Physically and baseball-wise. Your little wise-cracking self has always continued to entertain the team. I was amused to hear how much of a ladies man you were, and now I can definitely see it. Your confidence really helps you in your playing and in your friendships.

Tommy: Oh, Tommy. Your smooth winks make me laugh so much. I have to say, you really do have the most adorable smile. The way you leap 30 feet in the air to catch a ball is astounding, and you have a hilarious (though sometimes awkward) way of entertaining people. I loved that day where we did nothing but dare each other to dance behind people. Your fun-loving self draws people in.

Gelo: I laugh every time I remember you wiggling like a joyful puppy when I rubbed your newly-spiky hair. Our combined pickup lines and clever ways to hit on people were quite brilliant, I must say. I'm sorry for not asking when I borrowed your shoes, and I'm glad the team has someone as bouncy and fun as you.

Renton: I will always think of you as Cole Sprouse, with your adorable hair and eyes. For all the dirt you get from the rest of the team, you bounce back incredibly well, and take it like a man. All season, you have kept getting better and better as a player, and who knew you could pitch so well? I think you're a lot smarter than you get credit for.

Tyler: Your love for Coach Toor is unbelievably awesome, and I think it's fantastic that you love your coach, however awkward it may be to watch. Your remarks are always funny, and I always appreciate the way you catch yourself when you realize that I'm on the bus. It's quite amusing. You were so sweet to Chiyori, and would do anything to keep playing, even if you were injured. Your loyalty to your friends and the team is greatly appreciated by everyone.

Mark E: You are one of the most adorable people. Your curly hair, your little smile. I still remember you from my eighth grade drama class, and when you said you remembered too, it made my entire week. You have really come out of your shell, and everyone on the team loves you. Seeing you at tryouts, I was inwardly fist-pumping at how much you surprised the coaches with your skills. You are such a good player as a freshman, and I know you'll only get better.

Mark J: The times when you have smiled are so great. I know they call you Eyore, but I try to just think of you as Mark. You're always willing to do your best, and go the extra mile. Even dyeing your hair. I personally think you are so brave for doing that. It turned out pretty spectacular. Don't be afraid to smile every now and then.

Hunter: Sunshine is a pretty accurate nickname for you, and not just because of your long swishy hair. Although it did help you stand out at tryouts. Your skills as a catcher make you shine, as does your happy personality. I didn't see you too much, but when I did, you were always smiling. Cheerful players are what make a team fun.

And last but not least,

Marc Board: You are honestly one of the sweetest people I have ever known. The way you let Coree borrow your sweatshirt for a week, and the way you always immediately asked if I was okay when I got hit by a ball. I just love hanging around you, and it makes me feel so awesome when you run up and ask what bat I think you should use. Even when usually I am no help at all. Your huge grin brightens up my day, and possibly one of my greatest moments of the season was your epic fist pump at the last game. I feel so excited for you when you get to play, and I will totally pray for you at Far East. It works, too - remember what happened last time.

Also....

Coaches: Toor, you are cool as a cucumber. Ironically, Chiyori and I classified you as a panther. (Get it?) You are mysterious and deadly. Yet, you can be one of the most fun people ever. Your exclamation of exuberance at your first drink of Monster sent me into hysteric laughter, and your witty quipps (as well as your biceps and lightening-fast pitching) are awe-inspiring. Spain, you are like a grandpa. A no-nonsense, thundering grandpa sometimes. But you were relaxing to me when I first became a nervous, awkward manager. You always say the best things to help the guys get better. Our conversations on logic and the universe were great and thought-provoking.

Chiyori: What an awesome time to co-manager with you. I underestimated how amazing it would be to have another girl with me among the frightening world of males. And I feel so horrible because you really did most of the heavy lifting. You never missed a practice or game (just like your brother), and didn't mind at all when you had to take over the ball machine because I had panic attacks after getting hit. You are undoubtably way more hardcore than me. It was an honor getting to know you.

I guess that's it. Baseball has been added to my long list of things I don't want to leave here on Okinawa, because you guys made it awesome.

Be sure to dominate for me at Far East. :D

Stripes

This week has been an interesting one.

I saw two cute puppies yesterday.

I wore stripes every day (hence the title).

A certain kid caused me some very conflicting emotions.

I was a tribute in the Hunger Games for a pep rally.

I was picked up spontaneously... multiple times. By multiple people.

A friend and I started a gang. I'd tell you which friend, but then I'd have to kill you.

A prayer was answered two seconds after I opened my eyes.

I texted someone who was three feet away from me...for twenty minutes.

I laughed so hard I probably looked like an idiot.

I nearly cried from frustration.

I pretended I was cool.

I got sweaty/awkward/stomach cramps/hair fiascos/urges to pee at all the wrong times.

I witnessed the most beautiful thunderstorm and couldn't go out in it.

How's that for a week.

Dear King of Random Gestures,

I know you didn't want me to post about for your sake. But I'm going to do it anyway.

I hope you never see this. Because if you do, my most tantalizing secrets sealed within my cryptic titles would be jeopardized, and my facade of imagined mystery could crumble in mere moments. And that must not happen. Heavens no.

I'm already too vulnerable today.

This might not have been the case had it not been for Coree. That perfectly adorable, inquisitive child. She (thank goodness) had no idea what my cryptic-ness could mean, but she was determined to find out. Through incessant prodding and careful process of elimination, she unearthed my most treasured secret of this lowly page, and once she had, it was out there. In the open, where I felt anyone could just reach out and snatch it, only to shatter it on the proverbial floor. 

I couldn't believe it. If Coree could elbow past my seemingly immovable front that guarded this secret, who else might? Granted, Coree knows the tricks to squirm through my barriers. But it left me uncovered and shivering with cold and fear. Metaphorically. 

Then, like an idiot, I brought this up, and though I highly doubt you will follow through and pursue the reading of this page, I can't remove the question from my mind, and until I am certain, it will remain there like a festering splinter. 

So if you're reading this, I've already lost half the battle. 

Sincerely,

Abby

Dear God,

I'm so sorry.

I'm sorry that I always want to turn everything into a movie where it's all about me. 

I'm sorry that I let the enemy tell me lies about all the people that don't love me when in reality, they do. 

A lot.

I'm sorry that I think about boys too much.

I'm sorry that I wimped out on the book of Joshua this week, because it's an amazing book. 

I'm sorry I don't listen to You as much as I talk AT You.

Same for the way I talk at my parents. 

I'm sorry I don't let myself trust that you'll still be there in Virginia. 

I'm sorry that I refuse to believe you'll give me joy there.

I'm sorry that I dwell on the lack of youth group and drama friends and not enough on family in the states and new opportunities to serve and make friends.

I'm sorry for inwardly grumbling about not having clothes for the Cambodia trip instead of letting you fulfill me. 

I'm sorry for acting too sorry, when really I just want other people to feel sorry. You know what I mean, so it's okay that this makes no sense. 

Thank you so much. 

I love you. 

-Abby

Dear Kid With Hidden Emotions,

Your position on my list of people I think about randomly has been raised. Significantly.

Especially during that obscure hour when for once, you laughed. Genuinely. You never laugh. Well, you do. Just never with me. But for some reason, we couldn't stop cracking each other up. It was a strange sensation.

Then today, I stood by and looked on with amusement at your awkwardness. You were acutely aware of my presence. I could tell by the way your eyes flickered towards me, never quite reaching. But after the camera snapped, you looked at me with a sly, sarcastic smile, and I could hardly contain my amused grin. You asked a question and then busied yourself with rearranging objects on the table. I was about to leave when your mother approached you, and before she left, you leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. 

I knew you loved your mother. 

I turned and departed before you could turn and see if I'd witnessed your momentary slip of emotion. I'd reveal it later, of course, that I knew your secret. But for now, I'd let you think no one had seen. 

My day, however, was made. 

Dear Kid With Hidden Emotions,

Try as I might, you continue to intrigue me.

Today was one of those times. You were trying, successfully, to evade my grabs for the paper in front of you. You seemed so buried in it, and I'd been dying to read your writing. Despite your mask of apathy and previous essay scores, part of me wanted you to posses a mind full of uncharted genius. It was a childish hope, I know. But eventually I consented and let you settle into your state of quiet brooding whilst the rest of the world continued to bounce around you. You shot in something witty every now and again, as usual. But finally you had a fleeting moment of weakness and left your seat briefly. My mind cleared momentarily, and my arm shot out and snatched the paper, replacing it with a similar one in an instant. I concealed my treasure below the desk and let my eyes take a cursory journey across its surface, careful to monitor your movements from across the room just in case. Immediately, several things jumped out at me. The first was your different style of font. The second was the unknown foreign title that gazed mysteriously back at me. Then everything melted and slowed around me as I was immersed in the third, which was the writing itself.

In an instant, an indescribable excitement soared within me as I realized: it was even better than I'd hoped.

I let my pencil scribble out some things that couldn't be contained, for the betterment of your essay grade. I added a couple more that couldn't be contained for the betterment of your existence. In a flash, I realized my ruse had worked too well, and you'd picked up the decoy. Though you feigned nonchalance as I revealed my trick, your first action was to glance at my comments, and I knew you were inwardly pleased. 

Not nearly as much as I, though. 

I expect you will continue to intrigue.