The tempest of my thoughts, contained in a simple page.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Dear Boy I'd Love To Hate,

It's a lot easier to dislike you today.

It was painless enough, I guess. But through it all, you never said one word to me. 

Never even looked at me. Nor I at you.

Never mind the fact that I was trying not to cry after saying goodbye to a close friend of 3 years. Or the fact that I knew you would have talked to anyone else who'd been in my place. Or the fact that it wasn't even me you were closed off towards. But when you shut down, you shut out everybody. Not just the ones you intend. And maybe I'm wrong. Maybe you didn't want to talk to me at all. Fine. Say the word and I'll never bother you again. But my guess is that this had nothing to do with me. 

Well now it does. Are you happy? 

On a hunch, someone suddenly realized the obvious at the last moment. It was that we hadn't said one thing to each other. They asked if we'd had a fight. I almost laughed. Because that would have been so much easier to make sense of than the truth. 

I didn't have the heart to tell them that you and I don't even talk enough to fight about anything. 

Maybe that's what bothers me the most. 




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