Shut Up, Subconscious

Hi, you. It's me again.

Yeah, I know you're not that keen on us communicating or anything. But you should know.

You invaded my dream last night. I was literally dreaming about a wonderful night at the theater, with one of my oldest and greatest friends, when suddenly you showed up.

Out. Of. Nowhere. 

I didn't know what to do, so I acted like you were just some regular old friend I hadn't seen in a while. I walked over, smiled, and gave you a hug. You played along and did the same while I dragged you over to some corner. I said I was sorry about your recent relationship problems. I meant it. You thanked me and asked how things were going. It was an awkward, almost-normal check in with someone I hadn't seen in a while.

Neither of us actually mentioned anything that had to do with the two of us.

But as I haltingly led you over to my friend, trying to make the situation semi-normal, even though you were eyeing my friend cautiously, I realized that everything was almost...fine.

There was no leftover anger. No fireworks. You still looked and smelled like your old self, but I felt nothing when I gave you a hug. No animosity, but nothing drawing me in.

When I woke up, I felt somewhat wistful, I think. I wondered, if that had happened in real life, would it play out like that? Would we be capable of such a polite, cursory reunion? Would I be able to feel that everything was okay? Normal?

The fact that you barged your way into my subconscious bothers me a bit, too. I mean, I thought I had established that you had been dusted out of all the corners.

I think it's time you left for good, if it's all the same to you.