I Need to Vent and I Need it Now

I'm just going to use this time to mentally prepare for the news that I might not get a part in this musical.

Of course, most of my friends are guaranted certain parts. And I'll be ecstatic for them as if I didn't already know they would get in. I'll geek out with them about how awesome it'll be to be playing such-and-such with so-and-so. And so on and so forth.

And I'll brush off those that say they're sorry about me not getting a part. I'll say that it's not a big deal, and that I'm just happy to be part of the ensemble, and that it's going to be an incredible cast regardless.

And I'll even mean it.

Then I'll go home and cry into my pillow and consider quitting the show and stage managing, or even just doing something else with my time because I can't handle it.

But then I won't want to be left out of all the inside jokes that will happen, and going to IHOP after opening night, and getting to at least stand on stage.

And so I'll accept my ensemble role that I always get in a musical. I'll pretend I love it. I'll learn to love it. I'll be happy for my friends and not bitter or jealous. The show will be fantastic and I'll realize that so-and-so was much better suited for the part to begin with.


Can you tell I've been through this before?


DEAR GOODNESS THIS IS RIDICULOUS. THIS TIME I JUST WANT IT TO BE DIFFERENT. I WANT TO GET A FREAKING LEAD ROLE FOR ONCE.
PLEASE GOD PLEASE I CAN'T WATCH ALL MY FRIENDS GET GOOD ROLES BECAUSE I'M A STUPID JEALOUS TEENAGE GIRL WHO NEEDS ATTENTION AND VALIDATION.

PLEASE LET ME GET IN.

PLEASE.

PLEASE.

Please.