The Modesty Clause

Shopping for bathing suits has never been so irritating.

If you know me at all, you know I prefer not to wear the shortest skirts, tightest tops, or even the highest heels. This applies to bathing suits. I didn't really wear bikinis until a few years ago, and even though I do wear them now, I still don't wear string ones. It just seems to me that if people are going to be looking at me in a swimsuit, it should be because I look good without having to show everything.

Plus, I don't want to look like a... well, you know.

So this year I decided to opt for a one-piece in addition to my regular swim wardrobe. One that was attractive, but not to revealing. Classy. Girly. (But not too girly. No ruffles.) I went online. I searched. I scrolled. I clicked. For. Ever.

First of all, the grand total of 7 one-pieces I found on one website was nothing compared to the 200 results I got for bikinis, most of which were fluorescent eyepatches connected by elastic string. That alone bothered me. Are there no other girls out there who want to buy something that's attractive without being immodest?

I found one on Old Navy, though, that was pretty much perfect. It came today.... and didn't fit.

But part of the reason it didn't fit was because there were pillows of padding in the chest, which made the top part bulge weirdly and sit all wrong.

And I just got so frustrated. It bothers me that the world seems to think that no teenage girl would want to look attractive on a beach in a swimsuit without flaunting everything about her body that she can. I wanted to yell at Old Navy, "I can look good on my own! I don't need your padding!"

Society seems to have hammered the message into the minds of adolescent girls that if we can't get a guy to drool over us, we'd better make sure we do. We shake our heads at stars who expose everything on live TV, but when all we provide to wear are the same kinds of things, what are we telling thirteen-year-olds going through puberty? That this is all there is?

One afternoon several years ago, my mom and I were shopping at a department store. I had gone to get another size in something, and when I returned my mom asked me if I'd heard the conversation two or three dressing rooms down. Another mother-daughter duo was trying on clothes. I said no.

Apparently a skirt or something was being debated, and the daughter didn't like it because it was too short, too tight, etc. It made her feel uncomfortable. Naked. Her mom (her mom!) had said something like, "Do you want boys to like you? Do you want them to think you're pretty? This is what you have to wear. This what girls your age need to wear."

It saddens me that this is the only message we're getting now. And maybe this is the way it's going to stay, partially because they don't make attractive and modest bathing suits anymore.

Oh sure, I have a couple bandeau tops. They're cute. They still cover me well enough. But for once, I'd like to show up in California this summer, in the midst of all my cousins and their friends wearing tiny swimsuits, and look just as hot without feeling nearly naked. Is it too much to ask for a girl blessed with a small waist and natural curves to be able to wear something attractive and modest?

I don't think so.