"You should really be careful about what you post 'online', because you need to think about who can see those things. Like colleges."
So basically, I can't post anything I wouldn't want to explain someone anymore. That was my decision, no one else's.
And yes, I have another, locked page, that I can just rant on and no one can see it but me. But we all know that's not at all the same thing.
So basically, this is just stifling. I have no outlet anymore! I can't get out the things rambling inside my head, because it's not nearly as satisfying to just look at them in this secret corner that no one else will ever see.
I think we all knew that was never the entire point of this blog, anyway.
I give full freedom to my thoughts and feelings on here not only because I can, but because...
...I think deep down, there's always the notion in the back of my head that those people will, in fact, see those things.
And I think deep, deep down...
... I want them to.
I want you to know what I really think of you. I want you to know the music I'm listening to or why I wasn't myself at school today. I want you to know what made me happy this afternoon or who intrigued me last week. I don't like hiding it. I never have. I don't feel myself when I hold it in.
And some things, of course, are too much. But that was why I made the other page. Not for what I'm forced to use it for now.
But it's no use. This is the way it has to be until I say otherwise.
I'm sorry, world. But college is turning me into an ankles-crossed, hands-folded, mouth-closed version of myself, and even though I hate it, it's the way it has to be.
I'm just going to have to hold it in.
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