Stop Judging Me

I think soccer jerseys are awesome. (I also love rugby shirts, but that has no pertinence to this post. I just think it's worth saying.) Specifically, Manchester United home jerseys are pretty sick. Maybe it's because my brother loves them, so they're some of the only jerseys I'm familiar with, but regardless, I dig that fiery red. However, I can't wear one. And I'll tell you why.

(I'd like to take a minute here and recognize the fact that I'm writing about sports right now, which makes me uncharacteristically gangster. Moving on.)

It's impossible for me to just buy a ManU jersey for myself and wear it simply because I think it's awesome because I don't follow the team. Which means that if a cool athlete kid at college were to compliment me on it and then proceed to ask what I think of the new manager, or who I think will be strong this season, or whatever... I would have no clue what they were saying. I would be put in the position of having to say the most ignorant thing ever, which is that I don't watch soccer, but merely wear a jersey for no reason at all. Like a completely uninteresting white girl. Ick.

And to be honest, that bugs me a little. That people get so worked up about sports teams or TV shows or book series' (serieses? serei?) or fandoms or whatever that no one is allowed to like anything anymore. 

I can't wear soccer jerseys because I'm "not a true fan of the sport". I can't say I listen to Sleigh Bells because I "only have their #1 song, so it doesn't count". I can't say I like Doctor Who if I don't have a favorite monster, doctor, season, companion, and so on. I can't appreciate Hermoine Granger's sassy intelligence or wish I'd get my Hogwarts letter at age 17 because.....because....

....I've never read the Harry Potter books. There, I said it.

See what I mean? A bunch of you just gasped and vowed to snub me the next time you saw me. Don't even deny it.

We as a culture have made other human beings ashamed to have sincere feelings for something we enjoy or be innocently naive of a certain aspect of pop culture. What is wrong with us?

Why can't we just let people enjoy discovering new things without requiring that they explore every aspect of that thing known to humanity so they can say they're a true "fan"? Why can't we be okay with people that didn't read/watch/listen to/enjoy the same cool thing that everyone else did when they were kids? It has no bearing whatsoever on how cultured or intelligent someone is. So lay off, fandom police.

While we're on the subject, I might as well confess some other stuff too:

I've never read Harry Potter, and have seen only 3.5 of the movies. But I have some of the film scores on my iPod.

I have read the entire first Twilight book (never saw the movies though), and a few chapters of the second. Secretly, shamefully, at the library.

I will love High School Musical forever, even though I never saw all three movies until I was 13.

I've never seen LOTR, and have only read The Hobbit. But I was given an authentic Ring (complete with the inscriptions on the outside) of my own... and I lost it last year.

I have the Jonas Brothers (among other things) on my iPod and still jam out to them...often.

I have no affiliation for SpongeBob. I never watched it as a kid and have yet to understand the obsession.

I read the Hunger Games books after I heard the movie was coming out just so I could say I'd read them to the fandom police.

I still haven't seen the series finale of How I Met Your Mother. Actually, I've only watched parts of the last few seasons. But I call myself a fan.

I don't like rap music all that much. I know the lyrics to a few rap songs because I literally googled them.

I do, however, still have Blurred Lines on my iPod, and have yet to be annoyed by the song Happy.

I inwardly fangirl like a 13-year-old over Niall Horan. And I secretly find OneDirection in general extremely catchy... and okay, hot.

I had a very, very short obsession with Justin Beiber, though publicly I professed my disgust with everyone else.

I only watched 1 episode of Community, and I make witty jokes about the Troy and Abed mugs (even gave one as a gift once) without ever having legitimately seen them on the show.

I didn't see The Little Mermaid until I was 12.

I could not name any of the 49'ers players besides Colin Kaepernick, but yes, they are absolutely my favorite NFL team. (Also the Raiders. No, I can't name any of them either.)

I've never once played a game of Monopoly.

I have no knowledge of the old, comic book DC vs. Marvel universe. I adore superheroes, and I love the movies. But I have no opinions on which universe is better. (Except Spiderman. I grew up on the old cartoons, with the original theme song. So when people ask, I say Marvel is better... because of Spiderman.)

I think Kristen Stewart is a decent actress.

I've barely read any plays. (In the inner circle of theater kids, this is a cardinal sin. You have to be able to make references to David Mamet or whoever at a moment's notice.)

In general, I make references to things I have no knowledge of so people will think I'm more cultured than I really am.

I thoroughly enjoyed most of the movies my critical, theater friends labeled as "terrible." I'm not going to list them all.

Most of my hipster music (and by hipster I mean the hipster bands that all hipsters are into, i.e. the 1975 and twenty one pilots) I only know about through other people... I only found my most obscure music on my own.

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[I literally cringed after typing each one of those. Like, I had to physically force myself to type some of them. Readers of this blog are not allowed to use these against me. I published them on the internet. That means I don't care how much you make fun of me. So just don't.]

Now that I've sufficiently traveled down the deepest, darkest hole possible with this post, there's not much left to say. Except that if I can be this lame, pop-culturally, and still act like I'm cool, the rest of you can have the decency to be nice to others who may not be on the same level of obsession that you are with a sport or actor or TV show or band.

Just chill. Okay?