The tempest of my thoughts, contained in a simple page.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Flannels and Lattes and Humility

I just read an article called "Killing Christian Hipster" and am choosing to write about it pronto, because convictions are flying from my heart about it.

Basically, there's this trend going around in certain Christian circles known on Twitter as the "Evangelical Hipster," and to be honest, I'm totally becoming one. I have a solid black journal that I use to journal and doodle lyrics to Hillsong United in. My wardrobe consists of beanies and flannels. I've had some sick fellowship in coffeeshops and hiking trails. My bible is full of underlinings and margin annotations and whatnot. I have a playlist on Spotify entitled "Into the Wilderness." I'm currently obsessed with Oswald Chambers' insights. Gordon College is absolutely filled to the brim with Christian hipsters, and if we're being real with each other, that's kinda why I felt at home there when I visited.

*looks down at self*
Guys. I'm wearing glasses and TOMS. Right. Now.

It's happened. And try as I might, I can't change my style or simply stop liking certain songs... or lattes. But what hit me in the article was the idea that we make this quirky, Christian brand of cool our little safety bubble, rather than relying on Christ alone to be our foundation.

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"What if Jesus called you to kill the cool? What if Jesus called you to minister in a place where you couldn’t post Instagram photos with cute kids? What if Jesus called you to a church home where the pastor’s sermons weren’t available as podcasts? What if the body of believers Christ surrounded you with were unschooled ordinary men and not a sanctified version of Mumford and Sons? What if being a follower of Jesus meant you had less or no Twitter followers?"
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Something I've noticed (or rather, God's pointed out to me) about myself recently is I get way too wrapped up in the masses' approval of me. Or not even me, really- my image. I'll spend an hour taking a hundred selfies that look like I was just in the middle of doing something, selecting and editing one, and then posting it at a time when I think I'm most likely to get the most likes. I'm completely serious. It's tough for me to even admit that, but recently my opinion of myself has often hinged on the public's approval of my cute face or witty tweets. 

At the same time, my bible studies lately have often been geared towards killing selfish impulses or self-centered motivations in our spiritual lives. It's so amazing. The more I learn about denying all worldly pleasures for God's Will alone, the more my own selfish desires pop up all over the place and assert themselves. I'm not sure if it's the enemy trying to stall any growth or just the Lord pointing out flaws that have always been there. Either way, it's incredibly humbling. The article was just another reminder. 

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"Jesus doesn’t need your cool for His kingdom. He doesn’t need us to be famous to make Himself famous. Jesus works beautifully through our brokenness and completely through our surrender."
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I'm realizing more and more that what I need is hardly the perfect social media profile, or even coffee-making skills or hip prayer lingo or any of the things most of my spiritual role models display on the outside. I need something far greater than those peripheral impressions. 

I need the Lord. And that's it. 

So I can go to a thousand bible studies run out of someone's wood-furnished living room with acoustic, harmonized worship and flannel-wearing lumberjacks, but when I've sung Oceans for the 57th time and filled up a a hundred Moleskin journals and posted dozens of pictures of mission trip VBS on my Instagram, I'm still a sinner.

It's only when I've stripped everything about me to this single need... for Christ and His Will... that He can even begin to work. That's convicting as well. But guys. Jesus doesn't need our cool for His kingdom... so no pressure. If any of you have ever portaged a canoe (which I did two weeks ago... my poor shoulders), it's like the moment when you put it down and dunk your dripping-with-sweat face into the lake. Cool, beautiful relief. 

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