Well World... here I am. Again. Feeling very small and lost in the humid, heavy-trafficked purgatory of Stafford County; finally, blissfully free of deadlines and 17-hour days, while realizing that on the other hand, maybe having nothing expected of me whatsoever isn't as satisfying as I thought. I feel like I've finally cut myself free from a boat that contained a snarling tiger (like in Life of Pi) only to realize that the boat was also my only supply of food and water and I am now adrift.
I suppose I'm lucky. I get to be lost. This time in my life will conceivably never appear again, and for the most part I'll always have something expected of me, so I should be glad for this "rest," right? But I could do everything from climb Everest to carbon freeze myself for the next three months and for the most part, it wouldn't matter in the least... and that's a lot of power. Too much, you might say.
Oh, don't worry. I have plans. I mean, I'm not totally aimless. Oh, what are they? Ha. Ha. You'll see.
For instance, I'm going to unpack tomorrow. I'm going to rearrange my room. I'm going to fill out some job applications, get started on my passport renewal and maybe clean my car.
(Should I not say that? What if I don't get around to it? That seems like a big promise to keep. I should be more realistic.)
Tomorrow is unpacking day. There.
I'm trusting. I'm trusting. God can do anything, and while right now I'm desperately hoping that will entail a cool job and a new friend or two, I know it could be anything. But things are coming. I know it. Who knows? Maybe I'll actually be sad when it's time to leave for England. (Yeah right.)
*raises glass* To the last summer of The Erdelatz Kid. May it go out with the bang of a nuke.
(Oh I didn't tell you? We're ending an era, folks. Starting in the fall I'll be starting a new blog detailing my travels abroad. It's time. This one has served me well, and I shall tip my cap with gratefulness when the moment comes to retire it. So know that it's coming.)
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