A Mental Battle

How a conversation between both sides of my emotions might look after an aspect of today.

So how do you feel about this?


I don't know. I'm confused, and I'm shocked, but underneath I'm just really sad.

Why?


I don't know. When I think about why, I feel like a really selfish person who doesn't deserve what she had.

Had?


Yeah. 'Cause now I feel like I've lost it.

You haven't lost it.


Basically. Because now, wherever I am next, that belongs to someone else. Not me.

Not really. Not belongs, anyway.


Well, I guess I'd gotten so used to assuming that I didn't have to worry about losing it, and, and...it was....

What?


It felt really good to know that I'd be cared about.

You've still got that.


Do I?

Yeah. You do. 


I don't know if I will ever completely believe that anymore. At the very least, I'm not the only one.

Did you want to be?


See, that's where I feel selfish.

You probably won't have anything to worry about in a couple days.


I'm not so sure.

Why?


Because it could happen again. All this time I had no idea. Almost like everything has been a lie.

It hasn't.


I hope not.

So why won't things be different in a couple days?


Because things like that don't just CHANGE because it's convenient. They stay for a while.

What's the problem with that?


I don't have a while. In fact, I have practically no time at all. And in a couple months, I'll need it back.

It'll probably need you.


Maybe.

You underestimate.


Maybe I just have a hard time trusting now.

You haven't been betrayed. Don't be so dramatic.


I just need to stop believing in things too much.

Maybe you're not the center of the universe, hmm?

You're right. I'm not.