Today

Ah. At long last. Freedom.

I have finally put aside my fears and sadness at leaving this school and decided to bask in the glow and promise of an eventful-looking summer.

And for a first day, this kicked it off magnificently.

I was bold. Spontaneous, even.

Despite my fears of diving, high jumps into unknown water, and worst of all, being in a bathing suit, I leaped off the seawall, swam out to a 20-foot pole and jumped off, and even pretended I looked good wet. I wore sunglasses and laughed hard and enjoyed for possibly the last time in a long while, the wonderful ocean. 

I hosted the campfire to end all campfires. 

Throwing paper into the stinging smoke and watching all my friends do the same filled me with such a sense of belonging. Then laying in the grass and singing softly, signing one last yearbook, eating melty marshmallows and again, watching everyone around me experience that same joy, this sense of warmth and bonding swelled up inside me and I could hardly contain my happiness. 

I felt loved, really loved. 

Finally, I got to have one of those hugs that picks you up and swings you around. I got to give lots of hugs and get them, too. There's a difference between someone giving you a hug and giving one yourself. You can feel it. For once, I actually got more than I gave. I know not everyone out there is a hugger, but to bury my face in someone's shoulder and feel their literal warmth just melts me inside. We sat around and unloaded our deepest friendships with each other and as everyone was almost gone, I shared a lawn chair with a dear friend, which is something that I will never forget, that I never imagined would happen. Just thinking back to re-feel all the warm embraces and arms around my shoulders brings a smile to my entire being.

I finished well.

I feel so satisfied saying that. For those people that I will never see again, I have a great day to look back on and cherish. And to those that I will, I can hope for chances to do it again. Maybe in a week. Maybe a year down the road. But for the first time, I can feel a little bit satisfied at my time here. 

I took a good walk.

As a perfect way to end the night in almost-solitude, Cody and I traversed the lonely streets of Plaza and talked about the future. Mine, his, everyone's that will all change soon. We unpacked the backpacks of questions we had about life and just pondered. Even though we will see each other again, I got to say my real goodbye to the senior who taught me how to be in high school without being sucked in. It was every bit as meaningful as my freshman dreams anticipated. 

And now, as I finish this at a incredible 1:45 am, I am thunderstruck at how rare this is. Not only the fact that I, a mere, lowly, once-homeschooled little girl, am in fact staying up late, texting, and having what might be considered a social life, but that all of these wonderful friendships are deep and real and will last. Today has made this place last.