In The World, But Not of the World

Something I'm 200% done with: the world.

My school in particular.

I mean, it's to a point where I'm thinking I should just stop caring. And that's big for me. To just not care. I care way too much. It's one of my greatest fatal flaws, actually. But today I was shown that there's not much around me in my daily life that's really worth caring about. So why am I focusing on it?

Why???

Oh. I'm a human being. Right.

I'm glad God showed me the things he did today. But it was also very sobering to realize that keeping (or trying to keep) your heart in the right place all day... it comes with a cost. Boy does it ever. You notice so much more. Stuff you wish didn't exist. And you realize how utterly broken the world is... and they don't even know it.

And then you take a step back, stand outside the gossipy circle, and realize you're the only one standing out there. And you think, no. That's not true. I can't be... alone. There has to be someone around me that knows the truth and cares.

But you look at the circle and then around you, and as far as you can see...

you're the only one.

It's completely and utterly discouraging.