"Wow. They're so old. I will never, ever be that old. In like a thousand years. And then I'll get married and be a grownup and wear bras and be a different person and stuff."
And look at what happened. I'm looking at colleges and planning trips and applications and getting ready to start my journey into the real world, and I'm here at that ledge that 8-year-old me said I'd never stand at the edge of inside a millennium.
My conversations now consist of the universal difference between in-state and out-of-state tuitions, my email inbox grows by (literally) 100 emails a day, all from schools I've never heard of, but can't help but wonder "Are you the one?", and any extra-curricular I do is no longer out of the humanitarian in me, but because my thought process is always, "This will look good on applications." People talk about summer coming soon and all I think is that I hope I have time for that-one-thing between trips to colleges.
I'm doing job interviews and signing up for AP classes next year and wearing button-downs and making my bed every day, but knowing I'll only have my own bedroom for one more year, and...
... and it's terrifying.
Growing up is the scariest thing. But I know it's going to happen to me regardless. So I have to keep getting up and putting myself together in front of a mirror, and taking good notes in class, and nodding as my parents talk about studying for the SAT, and deep down, I have to accept that a tiny part of me is a little bit exhilarated at the thought of starting my life.
My actual life.
There is nothing but our fears of being free,
and it feels deeper than any ocean floor...
You are already such an amazing girl. You will be an even more amazing adult. You are so ready! Just as long as you don't forget about this part of your life, right now, then you are seriously going to go forth and conquer.
ReplyDelete^_^