I'm sitting in a basement.
My stomach hurts.
Why does it hurt, still?
Is it hunger or leftover nervousness?
The scariest moment of pain came while sitting in a circle at 3am. It was approaching my turn. I was fine. I had gone once, twice, before. Right?
All of a sudden the pain in my stomach gave way to a much bigger problem: my head started to feel light and dizziness kicked in. I told myself it was from breathing in too forcefully and suddenly.
But then there was the tingling in my fingertips.
The low heat that washed up my body like a wave, staying in my face.
The nearly-silent ringing in my ear.
Every time those three had happened together before, my vision had almost immediately started to go black.
No. Not here. Not right now.
If I wasn't nervous, I reasoned, as it got even closer to my turn, then why did I have the horrific feeling of being about to pass out?
Then, before I could slip up and make a fool of myself in front of everyone, I let my turn come and go. And just like that, I was okay again.
Why do I get nervous???
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