Another small tidbit about me: I second-guess everything. And by everything I mean, Ev. Ree. Thing.
It doesn't matter how steadfast I am in a decision; there will always be a small moment right before I take the leap when I can see the horrible what if play out and a small part of me decides it wants to back out.
Sometimes, if it speaks up early enough, that little part of me even wins.
But perhaps worse than second-guessing myself is when I doubt other people.
Maybe they said something nice a few days ago, but now? They didn't talk to me as much today. They've probably changed their mind about how cool or uncool I am. That must be it. They realized I'm not all that exciting and don't want a thing to do with me. I should leave them alone.
I once heard that if someone really wants to be friends with someone, they will make it happen themselves.
But is that really true?
You know back in middle school, or heck, even now, when Person A really has a crush on Person B, and so A tries talking B up all the time, and whenever A's like, "Hey! What's up?" B's all, "Oh, hey, how's it going," because B doesn't want to be rude, but A thinks that it obviously means B's into them too, so A travels down this dark road of misinterpretation with the inevitable result of their heart getting broken?
I feel like my whole life is like that sometimes, with me as the sucker who thinks people actually enjoy her.
Tbh.
No comments:
Post a Comment