The tempest of my thoughts, contained in a simple page.

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Subconscious Tornados

I have a hard time believing people have just one "fatal flaw." We're all sinners who commit multiple sins. It could be said that I have infinite fatal flaws that are all deal breakers in one deal or another.

But one of the more significant ones is my tendency to overthink everything.
You can blurt out that it's because I'm a woman, but the truth is that it comes from my idealistic, imaginative side (from my mother) and my logical, analytical side (from my father) colliding in an infinite tornado inside my mind that roars around, knocking over things, and overcomplicates any and every situation it can.

So when the opportunity to take a leap of faith comes along, you can imagine the mental atom bomb that ensues.

Of course, the first thing I love to do is picture all possible outcomes, and my wonderfully unhelpful brain points out dangerous possibilities in each scenario. But lately I've been learning more and more to give God control of every part of me, even my mind. So I have to let him take care of the things  that haven't happened yet.
I have to accept that me making the "wrong" decision isn't going to stump him. ("What? Why did you do that? Boy, that sure screws up my whole plan for your life. Now what?") No matter what I do, He's in control.

Even if I make a wrong decision, He's in control.

Even if I do nothing, He's in control.

There's freedom in not having everything up to you.
There's faith, too.

Life's scary, that ruthless wizard.

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